Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

 

Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

 

Catching my Breath with a Photo Friday

It has been a very busy week indeed- I will catch up here as soon as I have another busy weekend. I'm focused on enjoying my good fortune lately, the great people I am surrounded with, and the beauty around us all. It has been a good week- thank goodness.

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Jump. Pause. Wait.

I decided to JUMP. I decided to move forward. Move west. Move. Which is all just wonderful. Kind of surreal. But it is happening. I'm going. 

But not for another several weeks.

Which- leaves me here. In Limbo. In New York. In a very strange uncomfortable sad place. It's strange because I am in the middle of a big move- but I haven't gone anywhere. More of an issue- is I have nada to do while I'm waiting. I feel like a Bob Marley song- waiting in vain for your love. I am looking for part-time something, but the pay stinks and feels less worth it. So, limbo.

Deciding to move was not much of a decision at all. It's just something I have to do. I don't worry much about feeling lonely out there, because honestly, I feel lonely here. I walk around by myself a lot. Or with the pup. Going nowhere with no one. So I'm wishing and hoping that out there will be different. I really hope so. 

It's very strange to feel out of place in your home. To feel like you don't fit where you are from. So leaving it, doesn't break my heart. Now, all I have to do is wait out the time and do my last minute New York things. And then I'm off.

In my mind, I can see what my future looks like. In my mind, I can almost see the faces of my kids, my man. And it hurts to know that they are not here- they are somewhere else- waiting for me to bring them to life. Bring myself to life. Bring myself home.

Soon my loves, soon.

Lovely

It was a really nice day yesterday. Both for the weather and my life. I was thankful for that, and still glowing from it today.

You Can Learn A Lot Of Things From The Flowers

Do you remember Alice in Wonderland? I love it.

There is a very special scene that lives in that movie. Where she is lost and frightened and stumbles into a bed of flowers. And even when I was young, and I knew the flowers teased her, I still wanted to live in there. And be one of them. Because they were Beautiful. Simple. Together.

There is a song they sing to (at?) Alice- you can learn a lot of things from the flowers. And today, as I walked the pup in Brooklyn Spring, that song replayed in my head.

What can I learn from the flowers?

To be Beautiful. Simple. Together.

Weekend Walk

Sights from the neighborhood. Brooklyn, N.Y.

Thaw

It is that time of year- just when the air doesn't sting you when you walk outside. But certainly not warm. It's a bit like Stockholm Syndrome- when it is 40 degrees and it feels like an Island Tropic Day. You feel like you have been in a prison, and let out in the yard for your weekly run. 

It's not spring yet. Not yet. But there are small signs of warm times coming. It makes you feel a bit stronger, getting through another brutal winter. It makes you feel jumpy and antsy and ready for a new phase to begin.

It's moments like these that remind you that there is a warm light at the end of this winter tunnel.

Winter.

It is Winter here in Brooklyn. A very Snowy Winter. Days and weeks and months like this have me missing my short but sunny filled time in Southern California. Even though Palm Trees Don't Make Perfect, they certainly don't have you mopping up your floor and slipping along the way. The older I get the more I know Winter isn't for me. It has me really thinking about making a move to somewhere less slick. But, when I look back, even later in the day, I see just how beautiful Winter can be. Even if it does tend to leave puddles.

Do You Believe In Magic?

Dragonflies are believed to be magical by many many people. Myself included. They are believed to remind us that life shifts and changes and that life is not always what it appears to be. They remind us to see through life's illusions and see our true lives and our true selves.

This concept I need more than ever now. I have been surrounded by illusions and crazies and been stuck in holding patterns for months. Now, these patterns have been released- all within two weeks and I find myself soaring again. Thank goodness.

When I walk my dog I look for Messages  from the Universe, without really looking. Perhaps allowing the Signs to find me and allowing myself to be open to them. Sign Found- Hint Taken. Thank You.

Ask And Ye Shall Receive....

Speaking of Message From the Universe....

You Are Either On The Bus, Or Off The Bus.

Walking with a friend last weekend, we stumbled upon this amazing bus. Perhaps another Message from the Universe.

All You Need Is Love?

I am Lux Lisbon, locked in a room dreaming of highways. I am Maggie Cassidy, waiting on the porch with toes curled. I am a childhood dream girl grown old, tired, and jaded. 

Very recently I have had several people tell me that I was their secret dream girl growing up. All the while I was living in my personal silent nightmare. They had all of this love for me. While I sat alone and lonely. There was my super special Jr. High School crush that I loved from a far who came back into my life and ruined my memories. There was the popular boy in high school that all the girls loved for some strange reason who told me years later he thought of me. The music man, the pill slinger, all of them thinking love of me. All the while I sat by myself wishing for a 'hero to rise from these streets.' I wished for love on every fallen eyelash. But it never came about, at least never out loud. And when it finally has recently, it came from the wrong mouths.

I don't know what to make of any of these people apart, but put together it is a strange pattern.  I don't understand how you can love someone and leave them alone. I don't know how they could love me and not see me drowning. I don't know how they could love me and walk right through me. I don't know how they could love me and never really know me at all.

Beauty is everywhere, if you ask for it to be.

Walking with my pup this afternoon I began thinking about this blog. I was happy that I began to make this platform and hoped that through it, I would find some beauty in this world.

Walking in New York City you can sometimes wonder if there is beauty. You can wonder if beauty still exists in this world. Natural Beauty. Beauty that makes you believe in something beyond yourself and ponder the meaning of fate and coincidence.I hoped that real beauty still did exist somewhere, and that the somewhere could be somewhere near me.

I looked down and saw this

Beauty can exist. If you let it come to you.