Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

 

Photo Friday

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Jump. Pause. Wait.

I decided to JUMP. I decided to move forward. Move west. Move. Which is all just wonderful. Kind of surreal. But it is happening. I'm going. 

But not for another several weeks.

Which- leaves me here. In Limbo. In New York. In a very strange uncomfortable sad place. It's strange because I am in the middle of a big move- but I haven't gone anywhere. More of an issue- is I have nada to do while I'm waiting. I feel like a Bob Marley song- waiting in vain for your love. I am looking for part-time something, but the pay stinks and feels less worth it. So, limbo.

Deciding to move was not much of a decision at all. It's just something I have to do. I don't worry much about feeling lonely out there, because honestly, I feel lonely here. I walk around by myself a lot. Or with the pup. Going nowhere with no one. So I'm wishing and hoping that out there will be different. I really hope so. 

It's very strange to feel out of place in your home. To feel like you don't fit where you are from. So leaving it, doesn't break my heart. Now, all I have to do is wait out the time and do my last minute New York things. And then I'm off.

In my mind, I can see what my future looks like. In my mind, I can almost see the faces of my kids, my man. And it hurts to know that they are not here- they are somewhere else- waiting for me to bring them to life. Bring myself to life. Bring myself home.

Soon my loves, soon.

To Beyondo!

I believe in Messages from the Universe. I believe that life is something to be renewed. I believe that I need a Message to Renew. Last year, I fell into Mondo Beyond and was invited into something called Dreaming. I believed that I really needed that.

It is coming up on one year of my attack. It will be a year two weeks from now, but who's counting, right? I'm still trying to get used to living again, trying to not to be frightened about everything. And trying to see this attack as a positive. Crazy perhaps, but maybe have it serve as a sign that I was on the wrong road. That I need to go somewhere else, perhaps.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about children, and how much I would like to have my own. It only occurred to me yesterday that some of this is linked to my sadness of having to give up my pregnancy last year. After undergoing major surgery and being heavily medicated for three weeks, I got ill. Only I found out weeks later, I was not ill. I was pregnant. And there was no way that I would keep it. My body would not be able to hold the pregnancy after the surgery. And of course, the baby could have some major complications due to the sedation and medication. The sadness was unbearable. So much so, that I only really began to think about it yesterday. That I not only wanted children, but that I miss the one I had to give up, because it was best for the both of us. I'm not sure if the loss will ever go away.

So, I thought of Mondo. After my attack and losing the baby, I needed some light. Some joy. Some thing. And Mondo and the dreamers were there. Bless them. I thought about joining up again. Still, money is tight and time with work is tighter. So, I threw it to the Universe. Looking at Andrea's Blog, I found a little clue- a two for one buddy deal. I threw my hat in the ring and thought- let the stars decide. And this morning, I was matched. And so it is. Thank you for being a sign Andrea, thank you.

I am happy to begin to dream again. I believe I need it. As I try to clear out the cobwebs of my life, I am hopeful that Mondo will help me to plant some new seeds that will somehow make my life beautiful.

You Can Learn A Lot Of Things From The Flowers

Do you remember Alice in Wonderland? I love it.

There is a very special scene that lives in that movie. Where she is lost and frightened and stumbles into a bed of flowers. And even when I was young, and I knew the flowers teased her, I still wanted to live in there. And be one of them. Because they were Beautiful. Simple. Together.

There is a song they sing to (at?) Alice- you can learn a lot of things from the flowers. And today, as I walked the pup in Brooklyn Spring, that song replayed in my head.

What can I learn from the flowers?

To be Beautiful. Simple. Together.

Photo Fridays.

I know I know. I missed last Friday. To make up for it- this week has double the cuteness.

A Friday ritual borrowed from i believe in santa clause. A single photo capturing a moment of the week. Feel free to make your own Friday moments or leave a comment here with a link to yours.

Do You Believe In Magic?

Dragonflies are believed to be magical by many many people. Myself included. They are believed to remind us that life shifts and changes and that life is not always what it appears to be. They remind us to see through life's illusions and see our true lives and our true selves.

This concept I need more than ever now. I have been surrounded by illusions and crazies and been stuck in holding patterns for months. Now, these patterns have been released- all within two weeks and I find myself soaring again. Thank goodness.

When I walk my dog I look for Messages  from the Universe, without really looking. Perhaps allowing the Signs to find me and allowing myself to be open to them. Sign Found- Hint Taken. Thank You.

Beauty is everywhere, if you ask for it to be.

Walking with my pup this afternoon I began thinking about this blog. I was happy that I began to make this platform and hoped that through it, I would find some beauty in this world.

Walking in New York City you can sometimes wonder if there is beauty. You can wonder if beauty still exists in this world. Natural Beauty. Beauty that makes you believe in something beyond yourself and ponder the meaning of fate and coincidence.I hoped that real beauty still did exist somewhere, and that the somewhere could be somewhere near me.

I looked down and saw this

Beauty can exist. If you let it come to you.