Perhaps I mistook you. Perhaps I looked beyond things. Perhaps I did not wish to see what was really there. That you are a shell. A fraction of a man. A scared little sap who is so frightened to handle the world that you run to the wilderness. You are simply pathetic.
I honestly can't even pity you for what you have become. Because really- you have done this to yourself. You have even managed to ignite my hatred. Which is pretty impressive. You have lost my kindness- which also is no small feat.
You disappear and reappear- drunk, slurring, poor, stupid, weak, and ultimately unattractive in ways that far surpass your physical looks. Your lack of manhood is disgusting. Your lack of power in this world does not make it justified to try to overpower me. I can crush you with a word, and you know it.
Take a hint from your past and disappear. Go back to your little sad stove, your sleeping bag, your fake country accent. Go back to being nothing. Go back to feeling worthless. Because all of those things- you are. My looking beyond things cannot get beyond the truth of you. The truth of you- you are nothing. You know. I know. Get Gone.
Go.
1 comment:
If he doesn't have the strength to go, I wish for you the strength to let go. Yes, we all fall into patterns of behavior, but your true power is once you have the knowledge that he is not what you want, you can walk away. You don't have to relive the destruction. You have a choice. The more you exercise this option, the more the pattern will recede. Not an easy task, but VERY healing and empowering.
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