Let Go.

I think I am keeping most of my New Year's resolutions. Or maybe, they are keeping me. The past few weeks have been a whirl. And as I move forward in work and trying to better my career, I have noticed people falling by the wasteside. Men, I should say. And that is kinda fine with me. I promised to do away with my two week romances. And so far, they have gone away. Which in all honesty is tough at times. But healthy I hope in the end. 

I have come to an understanding that sometimes, even when someone has the best intentions for you and about you, they should not be in your life. I am afraid that I broke a heart this week. Someone from many years ago who still holds that candle. But I do not. I had to tell him that it was not there for me anymore, and that I had to let him go. It is terribly hard to do that, but then again, at the same time- terribly easy. Which, to be honest- is a bit more unsettling.

Being with him was a forced exercise. I knew he wanted more, and I played dumb. But I felt a bit gross doing do. I knew it wasn't fair. I had to let go.

I'm letting go a lot lately. Letting go of the things I can't control and the people that aren't the best fit for me. I got tired of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole I guess. And now I find myself clearing space. I would like this year to be a new way of life for me. To detach from people places and things that just don't work for me anymore. And the trick, is to do it respectfully and with love and care. Which again- is tough.

The taste of my own medicine comes of course when others feel they need to clear me- just like this one little romance has recently done. But, I should respect it- right? That who I am and where I am is not a fit for him. Easy as that right? Neh- not so much. What I have to remember, of course, is that I let him go too. I am letting go, and freeing up space for the new.